Our Love Quest
When I was a kid, I always asked your grandmother a question any junior sibling would ask: does she love me more or my sister more? Until this very moment, when I'm turning 30 years old this year, they still haven't really answered me that question. Now that I am a parent myself, they don't have to anymore because I can clearly see the answer. They love both of us so very much in very different ways.
Your mother and I have had countless conversations about this, about what to expect the second time around, what to expect when your baby brother or sister comes into this world. Most preparations seem to be less stressful, but somehow we're both becoming more emotionally overwhelmed. I can't deny the fact that I am afraid. I'm afraid because you have been the center of my life in the past 2.5 years. You have been the reason why I wake up in the morning, go out there, hustle hard to make you and mommy proud. I'm afraid I will be forced to spend less time with you. No matter how much I think I am prepared, I am not. You are my spark, but you're also my kryptonite.
Life has been moving too fast for me especially in the past few months. But today I decided to slow down a bit. I wanted to watch you and see how much you've grown. While you were playing in the front yard, I notice that you have always been strong and independent. You have started riding "blue car" by yourself. You clean up by yourself. You love singing and dancing. You love colors. You eat with proper manners. You behave extremely well, even with someone younger than you. I notice and realize well that you will be a fantastic big sister, and a great person. You will take care of your baby brother/ sister on days daddy and mommy aren't around. You will have a new best friend, who shares the same core values of our family and some of your toys. Things will change, but they do for the better.
I will always love you in my own way. You will always be my stardust. And nobody can take that away from us.